European Journal 3

I am currently on a bus from Dublin back to Galway, and had recently been on a ferry from England to Dublin.

Now the question is: did I make it to Amsterdam despite the natural disaster that has halted nearly all flights in Europe?

The answer: Ever seen that movie Rat Race? Yeah, it was something like that, but without Whoopi Goldberg.

Now, even though I escaped London and made it to Amsterdam, the airline cancellations lasted longer than anyone expected. Making it harder to get on an airplane than it would be for Tiger Woods to get his good reputation back. But before I tell you about how I'm getting back to Ireland, let me tell you about how I managed to do the impossible, and get to Amsterdam against incredible odds.

After spending a night on the floor of the London City Airport, I awoke at 7:am with barely three hours of sleep to see if I could get a flight out of London. Flights were still canceled, and buses, boats, and trains were all booked up. The only choice was renting a car. As I rolled the idea over in my mind, I thought to myself about what Batman would do in this situation - because that's how most important problems are solved in my life. My conclusion was that Batman would drive there in style in his Batmobile. The only problem was that I didn't have a Batmobile, or know how to drive on the left side of the road. This is when I decided to do something that I like to call "pulling a Batman."

The phrase "pulling a Batman" refers to someone doing a highly improbable action, and doing it in a bad-ass way.

I went to the rental car desk determined to get my Batmobile, and learn how to drive on the left side of the road on my way to Amsterdam. Lucky enough for me, I did not have to drive, but I did take a car. While I was waiting at the rental car desk, two Dutch businessmen had overheard that I was heading to Amsterdam. They were heading to Rotterdam, a city near Amsterdam, and asked if I needed a ride that far. I was more relieved than Nixon was to be pardoned when he shouldn't have, which set a precedent for United States Presidents to be able to participate in extra-legal activities and get away with it, thereby increasing executive authority and creating an even larger imbalance of power between the three branches of the United States Government.

Tangents on United States Governmental policy aside, I was damn lucky to be offered a ride by two Dutch businessmen who had the LAST CAR to rent at the airport. So we drove, over England and through the chunnel, to Grandmother's house we go. And as I woke up from a nap one of the Dutch businessmen exclaims: "Welcome to Belgium."

Belgium is a very beautiful country to drive through. I even had a Belgium waffle, and it was delicious. Yet when I finally arrived in Rotterdam I was surprised to learn something that should be rather obvious about Dutch society considering their history as some of the best traders before and even during the rise of the British Empire. Put simply, the Dutch are very good at making money. (Note: I say only say this cause I'm still annoyed at having to split the cost of the rental carI had to split the cost of the rental car and chunnel pass three ways with the two Dutch businessmen. While it was completely fair, I felt that things would have been quite different if I had been hitchhiking back in the United States. So if I had not made it to the Netherlands in the same style as Batman, I at least had arrived in a style somewhat fitting Bruce Wayne.

After taking a train from Rotterdam to Amsterdam Central, I stepped into the city with no place to stay and no idea where my friends were. But I knew one thing, I had information on where they were staying - I had a place to start. After a few hours of scouring and exploring the city, I received a call from a friend of mine who was also visiting the city. We chilled for a bit, grabbed some coffee, and he showed me a good hostel to stay at for the night.

After a decent nights rest I get a call from my friend Torsten who I am supposed to be meeting in Amsterdam. We meet up and it turns out his flight was canceled as well, and he is stuck in Amsterdam. Here, let me set this scene up for you differently:

We have two American college students stuck in Amsterdam, with nothing to do for a couple of days while their flights are delayed. Amsterdam, what a terrible terrible place to be stuck in, with absolutely nothing to do. Luckily the airport gave us a hotel to stay in for a few days, and we found enough historical sites and museums to entertain us for the duration of our stay.



There were several differences I noticed between Dutch and American society. The two that stand out like a football player does at a Star Trek convention are coffee and bicycles. The Dutch have more bicycles per capita than I have ever seen in another country. Approximately 16 million people live in the Netherlands, and there are about 16 million bicycles in the country! The Dutch like bicycles much more than they like windmills. This article should tell you a bit more about bicycles in the Netherlands:

Dutch Bikes

The Dutch don't just have a plethora of bicycles, but they also use clean power sources. The countryside of the Netherlands is littered with wind turbines that produce electricity, which is much more efficient and sustainable than the burning of liquefied and fossilized plant matter that so many other countries use.


The coffee in Amsterdam was also quite interesting. Now, there are many people out there who would condemn coffee and say that it is bad. I would agree. If you have too much of anything it can be bad for you. For example, you can drown if you have too much water. However, the pros and cons of drinking coffee is a discussion for another time.

Also, there were hookers in windows in the red light district......gross.

Overall, my first real tour of mainland Europe was about as much fun as Al Gore would have had if he wasn't cheated out of an election. Except I don't have an exceptionally large stick residing in my nether-regions, while it seems Al Gore might.

However, Man-Bear-Pig is real.


P.S.

Jack Martin saved my life from a crazy bicyclist, he's da man.